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SIMPLE TRUTH 1: Lovers help each other undress before sex. However, after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2: When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats”. But, none of them touch...

These four older ladies who lived in Naples, Italy, always sat outside together near the church and chatted about when they were younger. One month ago they pooled their money and bought a laptop computer. https://www.thechipboard.com/webbbs/media/chipboard/1356/1356603_2.jpg Never having...

Some old cowboys were seated around the campfire out on the lonesome prairie, and with the pride for which these men were famous, it was a night of bravado, rot gut whiskey, and many tall tales... Frank, the hand from Wyoming says, "I must be the strongest, meanest, toughest cowboy there is...

If Trump wins the election it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family

A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in...

Joe walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Joe and said, "Do you think...

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church, by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the Old Abbot to question...

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility..... Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the...

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, their place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with...

pick yours carefully! Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' A little boy went up to his father and asked...

Joined the army shortly after I turned 17. After training spent 9 months on Staten Island, N.Y. Then almost a year in Germany. Volunteered for Vietnam. 12 months there Feb 1968 - Feb 1969, Discharged 3 months early coming back from Vietnam. Got out 3 weeks before my 20th birthday. Wouldn't...

Thanks for the info GIS,,,,, Anyone have any recommendations on house boat rentals and guide service??

Any of you southern boys fish this lake? Got a friend going there in September with a couple other families. They want to rent a house boat, looking for any helpful information and recommendations on marinas, etc., and a guide for a day or two. Any help here? Thanks.

congrats guys....

Congrats

in

In Naples, Florida the other day, there was a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss Chicago." Someone broke the window, stole the radio, shot out all four of the tires and all the other windows, pee'd on the front seat, added an Obama bumper sticker and Black Lives Matter...

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. 'Fishing,' replied the old man. 'Poor old fool' thought the...

in

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.' 2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.' 3.. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.' 4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE...