For the Cops on the forum, Funny police quotes

[Jim]

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.

15. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My personal favorite.)

13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

10. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven "

5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

4. "Just how big were those two beers?

3. "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC (National Crime Information Center)."

2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours at least you know someone who can post your bail."

And.................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't."

 

[shamoo]

LMAO, that last ones the best.

 

[Waterwings]

Good ones! One of my brothers is a ret'd police officer, and he pulled a speeder over one day, walked up to the expensive little sports car, and asked the driver "You have a pilots license for this thing?" (insinuating he was going way too fast). The guy produced a piece of paper showing he was indeed a licensed pilot..............so, my brother let him go with a warning.

The guy did show what he was asked for, lol :lol:

 

[little anth]

Good ones! One of my brothers is a ret'd police officer, and he pulled a speeder over one day, walked up to the expensive little sports car, and asked the driver "You have a pilots license for this thing?" (insinuating he was going way too fast). The guy produced a piece of paper showing he was indeed a licensed pilot..............so, my brother let him go with a warning.

The guy did show what he was asked for, lol :lol:

lol he got lucky

 

[Popeye]

I personally like #9 the best.

I got out of a 55 in a 30 because it was 11:00pm, I was in my uniform and I told the officer I had a 20 minute drive home, a 20 minute drive back in the morning and had to be back to wake up my recruits at 3:00am. He asked if I was tired and I said I was. He said "Because you're tired you need to slow down, have a nice night", and let me go.

 

[Waterwings]

You did an RDI tour!? :shock: . Tough duty there, with too many "awake" hours.

I was offered that once, and instead took instructor duty in NOLA for 4 yrs

 

[Popeye]

My last tour was as an RDC. I got my first division (of 11 total) just after they changed reveille from 0400 to 0600. These days they have 3 RDC’s per division too. I only wish I had done it earlier in my career as I feel it help develop me into a better Petty Officer and my chances of picking up CPO and higher would have been greatly increased. Most First Classes that leave RTC (with a successful tour) pick up Chief within 2 cycles. But all in all, I’m still happy with the way everything worked out.

 

[Waterwings]

11 companies, wow! We only had one RDC (don't know why I put RDI in previous post), and we called them CC's (company commanders) back in '71. My 19 yr old nephew just signed-up and ships in April to GLakes. Getting Air Traffic Controller school guaranteed. He was also thinking about DC, which was cool because that's what I did

 

[Popeye]

Yeah, we called them CC's in '86 too. We had 2 per Company back then. during the winter months when there are less recruits, some Divisions end up with the 3 primary RDC's and up to 3 more "helping out" I hated that as you had to try and get 6 different teaching styles to sync.

 

[Popeye]

I like this story:

 

[Waterwings]

Lol, that's good! :lol: